The grace and silence of the branches of a huge protected Sequoia tree planted in 1874
Why do I find silence so uncomfortable? I find more goes on in the silence than in the noise. I think, no I know, that is why I talk so much in a party situation, often to fill the silence. If everyone else is chatting away, then I am quite comfortable in my silence. But if everyone is quiet, then I literally have to fight with myself not to open my mouth.
This again was another experience during Linda’s birthday dinner with her friends. Conversation would be ploughing along, filled with laughs and then that topic would end and there would be silence. Well since her friends didn’t really know me, I didn’t think it was too appropriate for me to be filling in the space with my chatter. Not only that, I wanted to experience sitting in silence. I think at one point when I said, “Oh, silence,” Roland said, “no just a breather from the end of one topic before the beginning of another.” Almost like a chance for people to gather their thoughts.
"What, are you uncomfortable in the silence?"
For me I find silence so unnerving, especially in a group. It is one thing to have silence hanging out with another person and you are just doing your own thing. But at a dinner party, when everyone is there to socialize, it feels weird to me. Actually, maybe it is just that I spin at such a high velocity that the silence seems to go on forever when really it is quite short. Maybe I think silence means people are not having fun or they are bored.
But I was pleased with myself, because I let those episodes of brief silences sit without me having to fill them or save anyone from them. If I turn inward and study what is going on with myself during those periods, I find them easier to endure. Besides, it is not my responsibility to fill the silence more than anyone elses, and no one else seemed to be at unease with them. Then again I come from a pretty vocal and high energy family where no one is short of something to say – for the most part anyway.
I appreciate Rolands comment regarding a silence as being a breather between topics. I all too often feel as you do Sara that if there is a silence that there is boredom and that, somehow, that silence is my responsibility – even though I am not, in any way, a chatty person.
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just a breather,
thanks
Thanks Bob, good to know there are others who experience what I do. However sometimes there are those who sit in silence to watch you squirm just because they like to be devious. Those ones I know it when they do it, it is a power trip. That’s when I like to do something strange …
Don’t think we ever had silence at our dinner table when the family was around – quit e the opposite!!!
Yes definitely a family full of energy. Never a dull moment. You really appreciate it when you are with families who are quite the opposite. Not that I am saying that is the case with Linda, but I have definitely been with families that just seem to stare at each other. Sometimes silence is not golden – it is just annoying!
Haha … I had to teach Karlyle to breath in between sentences just so the Benners could have a chance to say something. Being married to Jerry I soon learned if I wanted to hear what he had to say I had to allow for long periods of silence, wait, and soon something meaningful filled the air. I love listening to Jerry speak. Funny though, I was at a dinner party with Jerry and there was a long period of silence, somebody else commented about it, I continued with the silence until someone said, “I can’t believe Jill doesn’t have something to say.” These people don’t even know me really well. Guess I have a bit of a reputation! HA!
Yup – I would have to think that Mark is the quietest of us all. At least he can endure he silence the best.
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… you little bugger – oh was that my outloud voice – oops!