Expectations Can Cause Dis-ease

No, those are not leaves or fruit, they are fruit bats hanging out during the day in the Botanical Gardens in Sydney

I still had more pictures of Australia that I wanted to post.  I also have some thoughts about expectations so this is a combination of both – but unrelated.

A fruit bat fusses in the daytime heat

It was fascinating to watch the masses of fruit bats hanging in the trees in the Botanical gardens.  Unlike the Little Brown Bats I studied after University, these bats clearly were not in torpor during the day as although they were for the most part wrapped within their wings sleeping, spinning and yawning, some were still flying about and other, well others were doing what the birds and the bees do.  It was funny actually as I caught this mating pair in the middle of their activity.  The female was not very into it and was making a heck of a noise.  But I was impressed because the male spent a significant amount of time trying to get her in the mood.  You had to be there.

I just can't get enough of these amazing trees

So there’s this male bat doing everything in his power to entice this female and she still is not interested.  If he were a human, he would likely then get really pissed off and get mad at the female because there would be this expectation that his actions should be awarded with compliance.  But you see I think expectations are our doing in.  I got into this conversation with one man in Australia who was saying that it was such a drag that he couldn’t have a physical interaction with a female without her getting emotionally attached.  To which I said, it is not so much the problem of emotional attachment, because I think only sociopaths don’t have emotions, but its the expectations.

Just cause - I was born in the year of the horse

You see he would have the expectation of being able to have a physical interaction with the woman with not lasting attachment or effects.  The woman might have the expectation that because they had the interaction that there should be future communication and possibilities.  So their expectations are different resulting in hurt feelings.  So I told him that if he want to get into that kind of relating with a woman, he should discuss the expectations at the front end.  This of course is hard for most people to do.

No trip to Australia is complete without a picture of the Opera House

But ultimately expectations exist everywhere and in some cases make sense.  For example we expect a partner to be faithful.   We expect that if we work hard we will be rewarded.  But really we have to be careful with expectations, because once you are able to let them go, you are freer and happier.  Because you won’t be weighing your self-worth based on other people not meeting your expectations which they may not even know what they are.  Maybe they do know and don’t agree with them.  But all the reading I do about living more peacefully is letting go of expectations.  I have the best relationships with those people in my life where we have little expectation over each other.  We let each of us be and don’t take it personally.  Ultimately we end up staying well bonded because we don’t imp0se guilt and other manipulations on each other because there are no unmet expectations.  Anyway, it’s a hard thing to do, but I work on it daily and these days very few expectations, whether mine or someone elses, get the better of me.

Aging steps to an aging door. I wonder how many people have walked through that door.