A torrential rain races upon the city - it was wild
Kuala Lumpur is made up primarily of three ethnic groups – Buddhist / Christian Chinese, Muslim or Hindu Indians, and Muslim Malay. From what my new couch host has told me, the Christian contingent makes up about 5%. So the overriding religion / belief system is Muslim. The interesting thing with Muslim is, of course, that women are supposed to cover themselves up. So here in a major city, which welcomes women from around the world, they don’t expect other cultures to cover up, but the men’s behaviour can be very irritating.
Disparate buildings and disparate cultures
Let’s be clear, for the most part I feel quite safe. It is not the sense that I think I will have in Africa. Here, even though the men stare and make comments CONTINUALLY to non-Muslim women, you just get a sense that it is not in them or worth it for them to act physically in anyway. But given the oppressive heat, the thought of wearing full coverage clothing and a head scarf makes me feel panicky. I dress to suit the temperature and not provocatively at all. But regardless the men they stare, they try to open conversation with you (and you can’t respond because you just invite trouble), they throw remarks at you that make you feel dirty and self-conscious. Ironically, the Chineses population dresses very similar to ourselves if not even more provocative since they have those little lithe bodies.
A beautiful orchid in full display
So I am not going to change the way I dress so that the Muslim men aren’t so “inticed”. You see that is what bothers me. The women are supposed to cover up because their “sheer” beauty will distract a man from his proper day to day activities. Well if the women didn’t cover up and the men saw it all the time, would it not be less interesting and therefore not a big deal? Now of course all of this is magnified many-fold for me because I am a tall redhead generally on my own, so I am a target. Thank goodness I am not in my 20’s anymore.
Masses of orchids. They don't have to cover up!
But what I find, is that I can’t look at anybody, I can’t catch anyone’s eye, I can’t respond to comments. I have to walk around with a grim stare and be in my own zone ignoring everyone. To me this is just plain rude but it is the only way I am not hassled. Speaking of which, as a result I rarely smile, until I am in a safe place where smiling is safe. Weird eh? And everyone who knows me knows how much I like to smile. But now that I think about it, as I look around few people smile and it seems the only ones who can do so with immunity is the men.
Caged birds - a huge enclosure allowing for free flight birds within reason - for people to come see.
So even though KL has been interesting and my new couch host, Ken, is a lovely person, I am tired of the city and its masses and crowds, of the smells and jostling and the comments. Not to mention the fact that I can’t laugh and smile in public. That just plain gets me down.
The old Heritage Station Hotel
I am so grateful to have Jerry to travel with. This year, I finally got him to understand what it is like to be a woman left alone on the street, while he wonders off on some personal fancy. I don’t feel safe, I feel vandalized and it freaks me out that all the men seem to know where he is, even when I don’t. So this January, he was very mindful, and when I said I need you beside me NOW he responded and understood.
Ugh! We are so spoiled in our western culture. I have very low tolerance for the stress as well, having always to be on the defense. It often is a relief when traveling to find some westerners where I can let my hair down and be myself.
Yes I`ve done so much of it that I am used to it. But thus why I tend to gravitate towards countries that share my values and it is easier. Like Australia, New Zealand, parts of Europe. Brief forays into these other ones help me appreciate my own.
Why no pictures of the Petronas Towers. They are something to see!
I have a very hard time with the muslim oppression of women, I am in favour of the French and Quebec ban on burkhas, nequabs(?), etc. An extension of this is the Taliban who will kill female children if they go to school, they have blown up women’s schools and they destroy a women’s self esteem. I wish we could rid the planet of this type of oppression for good!
In total agreement with you there. It is such bullsh&%*^ all that crap but they would have you believe that you just have to understand that Allah knows better than us humans why such restrictions are in place and we shouldn’t question them. So in turn I say, let’s lock up the men and let the women run free them!!! Oh oh, here comes the stoning
Too bad you are not able to smile – I guess we forget how free we are in this country compared to the muslim oppression of women.
Is your couch host a muslim?
No my couch host was (now) a Chinese Christian. But he had an Iraq Muslim friend over one night and that individual and myself had a good friendly conversation about belief systems. Yes, no matter what they try to tell me or say I will never agree with the oppression of women.
Your smile is your greatest weapon!! Never let any situation take that away from you. So many of those grim faces and unwanted comments would have disappeared if you’d been yourself, and carried on regardless.
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are”
— Joseph Campbell
Maybe I should have asked for information on your odyssey. In K.L. the Professor of Dental Surgery, probably one of them, is Frederick Smailes. A “university student days friend of mine” and we have had limited communication since then. K.L. has new buildings for Med/Dent teaching and research and I could have asked you get some information on this new venture. Fred Smailes would certainly make you smile.
I am passing through KL again a couple of times. Do you have any further contact information as I could at least contact him by phone.